Why You Absolutely Can Choose What Happens to You

Instead of having to choose how to respond

Emmanuel Lomax
2 min readSep 8, 2021
Person sitting on bench in dark
By Sam Moqadam on Unsplash

You’ve all heard that phrase, ‘You can’t choose what happens to you, you can only choose how you respond to it’. It’s a good phrase and it brings accountability and self-reliance, but it's also bullsh*t.

You absolutely can choose what happens to you. Someone in the crowd heckles the comedian, without even taking a second to think he can tear apart that person with a witty comeback. A MBL player is walking down the street, he turns his head around, and without thinking he catches a ball that was head straight towards his face.

Mental strength is overrated, both those people in the example I provided may have great mental strength or even very weak mental strength and it wouldn’t change their ability.

Ironically mental strength is for the weak. If you tell a joke and it fails mental strength can get you through. After all ‘think about it, that won’t matter in 5 years’. If a ball hits you on the head and people laugh at you, mental strength can get you through that too. However, what’s better than mental strength is pure ability, if you can outwit a heckle what’s the use in mentally cheering yourself up, if you can box a speed baseball out of the air who needs a good mentality.

Don’t get me wrong though, the phrase is good, mental strength is a nice little add-on. However, if you’re willing to do the work in whatever situation you’re in to get to the peak such that your proverbial baseball can come flying at you and you can homerun that ball, then screw mental strength, you won’t need to think at all.

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Emmanuel Lomax

Amateur writer with a love for discussion and languages. Currently learning and bettering myself. Slowly.