Stay Away From Doors!

Like Seriously

Emmanuel Lomax
2 min readMay 5, 2021


By Dima Pechurin — Unsplash


There is nothing on earth quite as terrifying as the door, a six-foot-tall wooden, steel, stone, you name it they can build it type of object. Doors are responsible for some of the worst crimes in humanity like knock-knock jokes, Mormon missionaries at inconvenient times and looking like an idiot when it’s pull not push. There is no doubt that doors are a menace but there’s something that lies beneath that’s just as bad…

Wolfgang Rottmann — Unsplash

Door handles

Short enough to go unnoticed, tall enough to ruin your day. If being a nuisance is a crime, then a door’s a criminal and the door handle accessory to the crime. In fact, it’s scientifically proven the worse your day is the more likely your clothes will get caught by the door handle (source: trust me, bro). There’s nothing that can quite take you over the edge like rushing off in a strut only to have your shirt or trousers caught by this tool or evil. There is one last evil to doors though, an evil that lies even lower…

Kelly Sikkema — Unsplashed

Door hinges

These are the evil masterminds of the door operation, lying silent, and holding everything together. You know they’re bad because they named a dating site after them. These things aren’t quite so dangerous when they’re mentally stable and in control — but when they become ‘unhinged’ then they might just send a door to kill you, gravity style.



Emmanuel Lomax

Amateur writer with a love for discussion and languages. Currently learning and bettering myself. Slowly.