Help a Guy Out

Tell me how to turn a bathroom eddy into a tornado

I want to cause a natural disaster, but without the mess to clean up. So if there is a way to localize a storm, to turn an eddy into a tornado. I’d be glad for the help.

The light in my bedroom is bright, but it could be brighter.

I want to light up the world, but without burning myself by grabbing the sun out of the sky. So if there is a way to localize a solar flare, to turn my 800W bulb into a tempestuous beacon of light — god I love words for wind — I’d be glad for the help.

My floor is made of wood, but it could be much hotter.

I want to visit a volcano, but yet again without burning myself by wresting it from the ground of Hawaii. So if there is a to localize a volcanic eruption, a way to turn my floor into lava. I’d be glad for the help.